Year-In Review
Looking back on the year, I see 2013 as the year that brought the most significant changes in my life – more than any other year I can think. I am sitting in my bed getting ready to go to sleep. In Africa. A year plus a couple days ago, I had never even heard of Ivory Coast or Cote d’Ivoire. And then December 31st of 2012, I felt the Lord tugging at my heart, calling me to dedicate a year to overseas missions. I was at DCC (Denver Christmas Conference) with Cru for the second time and for the second time, my life was radically changed. World missions had never been on my radar before. Sure, I had wanted to go on a mission trip, but I was thinking more like a few weeks – maybe a month or two max.
I remember when I was younger – way younger – I asked my babysitter, Cassie, what she wanted to be when she “grew up.” Her reply was that she wanted to be a missionary. I remember my reaction was something like, “Why would you want to do that?” Being a missionary couldn’t be further from my mind. At that point, I still wanted to be an artist. A few years later, I wanted to be a geologist. Or gemologist. Or mineralogist. Or something like that. But missionary? No way!
Well what changed? First of all, when I was that age, my heart towards God was way off wack. And my heart towards God was way off wack up until my freshman year of college. I mentioned DCC? Well, imagine this. Freshman year you have such a horrible relationship with your parents that you don’t even want to talk to them half the time. And the thought of asking for something terrifies you so bad that you’ll just skip it. And you’re such a “great Christian,” you really want to get in with a good Christian group on campus. You find the only existing group and start attending the weekly meetings. About halfway through the semester, your leader starts spreading the news that this awesome conference is coming up 3 days after Christmas and you must come. And you’re thinking, “That’s cool and all. Sounds like a ton of fun. I really want to come, but there’s no way I’m asking my parents about that. We hate each other right now. And it’s right after Christmas. It’s a no.” So, instead of asking your parents, you make excuses, “I’m getting my wisdom teeth out over Christmas break” (which is true, but totally irrelevant). But your mom sees the little brochure you brought home about the conference, asks you about it, and offers to pay for you to go.
That was me. And I went with the Cru group to the Denver Christmas Conference. My life was changed. I was brought to tears and to my knees in surrender, realizing the hardness of my heart, the bitterness I’d built up, and the discontentment I was harboring. My heart was now softened, prepared.
Summer of 2012, I learned of an opportunity to go to Israel with my friend, Kayla’s church. I jumped at the chance and started looking for all kinds of odd jobs in order to raise money to go. It was a struggle making the decision, realizing that, by going to Israel, I would be giving up the opportunity to go to DCC that year. I put in my down payment for the Israel trip and continued working to gather the funds. The closer it got to the time to submit the next payment, the more uneasy I felt about the trip. But, I knew if God didn’t want me going, the money would not appear. So I waited. And worked. Then, in late summer, I met with Kayla and her mom over lunch. As we left, her mom asked me what my thoughts were on the trip and I told her about the uneasiness I was having. Only to find out she felt the same way. A day later, the trip was cancelled by the church.
So, days after dropping my application in the mail to the department of design at KU, I went to DCC again that December. And what a blessing it was! I was again brought to my knees in humility and it was there I felt the Lord might be calling me somewhere else. I worked on the application process through January and February, after asking a bajillion questions and calming my parents’ misgivings. And I waited. I was in Kansas City with a friend when I got an email from KU. And an email from the STINT application. Arriving the same day, both emails said something like, “We need such-and-such piece of additional information and then we’ll let you know.” Then in March, I got emails again from both places acknowledging my acceptance. What to do?
In April, I went to Cru’s intern kick-off weekend – basically a weekend packed with fundraising information. And the uneasiness I felt about asking people for money left me realizing, STINT isn’t for me; I can’t do it. As it turns out, I was right. I spent the summer doubting – and asking people to support me. I spent the summer far behind every fundraising deadline Cru had made for me. 15% by June 1st. How bout 5%? 50% by July 1st? How bout 30%? August 1st 100% deadline loomed and a week before, I had 63%. That week, I met with a couple who had been referred to me. We sat down over lunch and I shared the vision with them. At the end of the meal, they asked how much I still needed. And he turned to his wife and said, “Write a check for half that amount.” And he turned back to me and said, “And if you don't raise the rest of your support, you let me know and we’ll cover it.” A day later, a friend of the family called and asked where I was at and contributed another sum, only slightly less than the previous. Leaving me with about 5% left to raise. No, STINT isn’t for me; I can’t do it. STINT is for God; He can do it.
An extra little tidbit of information. The week I was supposed to be in Israel is the week Israel was hit by drone strikes. God knows what He’s doing! The point of me writing this is multi-faceted. One reason is for me: it’s my testimony and I am amazed every time I dwell on the things God has done this year. The second reason is to tell you my testimony, to encourage you. To let you know that God does big things. To give you a glimpse of the big picture. To show you that making plans doesn’t always work out. You’ll be disappointed by things in life – I still want to go to Israel! But, as you walk with the Lord, you will look back someday and be amazed at the ways in which He worked in your life! And that someday may be a mere year away!
I can’t even begin to sum up the whole year 2013 in a blog post, but it has changed my life. And I can assure you that each and every year you live will change your life. And as you walk day to day, it may seem monotonous. It may seem all the same. But take the New Year as an opportunity to reflect on the awesome things God has accomplished in your life over the past 365 days. Because it is more than you will ever know this side of heaven!
Happy New Year and God bless!
I remember when I was younger – way younger – I asked my babysitter, Cassie, what she wanted to be when she “grew up.” Her reply was that she wanted to be a missionary. I remember my reaction was something like, “Why would you want to do that?” Being a missionary couldn’t be further from my mind. At that point, I still wanted to be an artist. A few years later, I wanted to be a geologist. Or gemologist. Or mineralogist. Or something like that. But missionary? No way!
Well what changed? First of all, when I was that age, my heart towards God was way off wack. And my heart towards God was way off wack up until my freshman year of college. I mentioned DCC? Well, imagine this. Freshman year you have such a horrible relationship with your parents that you don’t even want to talk to them half the time. And the thought of asking for something terrifies you so bad that you’ll just skip it. And you’re such a “great Christian,” you really want to get in with a good Christian group on campus. You find the only existing group and start attending the weekly meetings. About halfway through the semester, your leader starts spreading the news that this awesome conference is coming up 3 days after Christmas and you must come. And you’re thinking, “That’s cool and all. Sounds like a ton of fun. I really want to come, but there’s no way I’m asking my parents about that. We hate each other right now. And it’s right after Christmas. It’s a no.” So, instead of asking your parents, you make excuses, “I’m getting my wisdom teeth out over Christmas break” (which is true, but totally irrelevant). But your mom sees the little brochure you brought home about the conference, asks you about it, and offers to pay for you to go.
That was me. And I went with the Cru group to the Denver Christmas Conference. My life was changed. I was brought to tears and to my knees in surrender, realizing the hardness of my heart, the bitterness I’d built up, and the discontentment I was harboring. My heart was now softened, prepared.
Summer of 2012, I learned of an opportunity to go to Israel with my friend, Kayla’s church. I jumped at the chance and started looking for all kinds of odd jobs in order to raise money to go. It was a struggle making the decision, realizing that, by going to Israel, I would be giving up the opportunity to go to DCC that year. I put in my down payment for the Israel trip and continued working to gather the funds. The closer it got to the time to submit the next payment, the more uneasy I felt about the trip. But, I knew if God didn’t want me going, the money would not appear. So I waited. And worked. Then, in late summer, I met with Kayla and her mom over lunch. As we left, her mom asked me what my thoughts were on the trip and I told her about the uneasiness I was having. Only to find out she felt the same way. A day later, the trip was cancelled by the church.
So, days after dropping my application in the mail to the department of design at KU, I went to DCC again that December. And what a blessing it was! I was again brought to my knees in humility and it was there I felt the Lord might be calling me somewhere else. I worked on the application process through January and February, after asking a bajillion questions and calming my parents’ misgivings. And I waited. I was in Kansas City with a friend when I got an email from KU. And an email from the STINT application. Arriving the same day, both emails said something like, “We need such-and-such piece of additional information and then we’ll let you know.” Then in March, I got emails again from both places acknowledging my acceptance. What to do?
In April, I went to Cru’s intern kick-off weekend – basically a weekend packed with fundraising information. And the uneasiness I felt about asking people for money left me realizing, STINT isn’t for me; I can’t do it. As it turns out, I was right. I spent the summer doubting – and asking people to support me. I spent the summer far behind every fundraising deadline Cru had made for me. 15% by June 1st. How bout 5%? 50% by July 1st? How bout 30%? August 1st 100% deadline loomed and a week before, I had 63%. That week, I met with a couple who had been referred to me. We sat down over lunch and I shared the vision with them. At the end of the meal, they asked how much I still needed. And he turned to his wife and said, “Write a check for half that amount.” And he turned back to me and said, “And if you don't raise the rest of your support, you let me know and we’ll cover it.” A day later, a friend of the family called and asked where I was at and contributed another sum, only slightly less than the previous. Leaving me with about 5% left to raise. No, STINT isn’t for me; I can’t do it. STINT is for God; He can do it.
An extra little tidbit of information. The week I was supposed to be in Israel is the week Israel was hit by drone strikes. God knows what He’s doing! The point of me writing this is multi-faceted. One reason is for me: it’s my testimony and I am amazed every time I dwell on the things God has done this year. The second reason is to tell you my testimony, to encourage you. To let you know that God does big things. To give you a glimpse of the big picture. To show you that making plans doesn’t always work out. You’ll be disappointed by things in life – I still want to go to Israel! But, as you walk with the Lord, you will look back someday and be amazed at the ways in which He worked in your life! And that someday may be a mere year away!
I can’t even begin to sum up the whole year 2013 in a blog post, but it has changed my life. And I can assure you that each and every year you live will change your life. And as you walk day to day, it may seem monotonous. It may seem all the same. But take the New Year as an opportunity to reflect on the awesome things God has accomplished in your life over the past 365 days. Because it is more than you will ever know this side of heaven!
Happy New Year and God bless!
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